Signs for Re-Evaluation

Signs that you need to rethink your life.

1. If you cook a hot pocket in a conventional oven. It takes 30 minutes. Most people aren’t willing to wait that long for things that bring them enjoyment, if you’re doing it for a hot pocket you need around the clock psychological treatment. Call me a product of the internet age but I just don’t think I should have to wait that long for violent diarrhea.

2. If you have more than three half used tubes of toothpaste. Let’s face it, if you get a new one the old one’s out of a job. Let it down quick and easy. There’s no use pussyfooting around pretending like things are going to work between you. You both knew what this was.

3. If you’ve ever looked all over the house for your keys, tearing open couch cushions, looking in pockets of pants you haven’t worn since 8th grade, accusing people around the house, giving them an ultimatum of the keys or their future only to realize they’ve been in your pocket the whole time. No, it doesn’t happen to everyone. Just you. Freak

4. If you've ever poked someone on Facebook. When you don’t have anything to say but you want to remind somebody you’re still breathing poking is a great idea. If you’ve ever poked someone then you’re either close enough to them that they know you’re not a douche or you’re just a douche.

5. If you watch movies based on books or comic books and are angry when the story differs from the original. You can’t say that’s not the way it happened. Because IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!

Happy Sunday!!!