Oh Say Can, You Suck!

Everything at the Superbowl is over the top. That's why it's more of an American holiday than the fourth of July. It's sports, food, and commercialization, three things that our country does better than anyone else. We at least do it more than anyone else. The preliminary ratings say that roughly 111 million watched the Superbowl this year, making it the most viewed television program in the history of American television. A significant portion of the people that make up the 111 million don't know anything about football. They think a gridiron is something you make bacon in. But they will watch it because it's the party of the year. It's what people will be talking about. And those damn beer commercials where men prefer Bud Light over smoking hot women are just so true to life it's scary. (pssh) Americans love being a part of something big and the Superbowl is nothing if not big. Americans love their country so it's really no surprised that so many deeply offended at Christina Aguilera's "artistic" rendition of the national anthem. It was typical Christina style. A lot of wailing and smelling salt faces but there's no doubt the woman has tremendous talent. The singing part she had a handle on, the words she was supposed to sing...that proved a little tricky. Would it be a good idea to get the words right to your country's theme song in front of 111 million people? Who I am to say it's not. But I wouldn't blame Christina for her error. I personally blame the NFL for hiring a human to do the anthem. Next year, I pray they correct their mistake and hire a programmed robot to do the honors. Will.i.am would work just as well. I know nobody likes to be reminded on magical day like Superbowl Sunday but nobody's perfect. People say, but she's a professional, she should have rehearsed. Yes, I'm sure she went into sing the national anthem at the Superbowl without knowing the words because she's an adrenaline junkie. She's been singing the national anthem at sporting events since she was seven. I'm sure they were local hockey games and little league and stuff like that but the words are the same. Now imagine yourself standing in front of 100,000 fans, knowing another 100 million are watching at home, knowing that every continent is watching including the one guy that lives in Antartica are watching you, so in a way you are an ambassador unto the rest of the globe on behalf of your country. As humans do I'm guessing she got a little emotional and she repeated the line, "what so proudly we watched (it's really hailed) at the twilights...eeeh eeeh eeeh. It goes into a little Christina siren sounding phrase there at the end. She was supposed to sing "O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming." Do we need to make that big of a deal out of it? She repeated a line, it's not like she went all Borat at the rodeo on the song. She didn't sing a line from a Chevy jingle instead of the real words. Heck, Christina's screw up was the only thing that wasn't sponsored by Bridgestone or Doritos. Americans are known for making mistakes, and they're also known for improving based off of those mistakes. Maybe next year there could be a prompter for the singer, cue cards, crib notes, something. Before I sign off, be honest with yourself. When she messed up you knew the words right but for the life of you didn't know what the hell they were, did you? It's ok. You are beautiful no matter what they say.