The Gondolas Are Heeea!!!

You can run, you can hide, you can possess some final shreds of sense of self worth and morality left in you but there’s no denying the Jersey Shore has infiltrated American pop-culture like perhaps no reality show has ever done. Ever since the show began airing sales of hair gel, gym membership and Jacuzzi disinfectant have gone through the roof. Being Italian…ok half-Italian…alright they enjoy eating at Olive Garden, you would think the real Italians, the ones that live in the country, would embrace the newfound Mount Rushmore of Italian culture in American society. Apparently, real Italians aren’t as keen on embracing the show as Uncle Sam has been. One columnist wrote, “They embody the worst stereotypes for Italians, multiplied by thousands and Americanized.” That’s how I always felt about Little Caesar but they’re entitled to their opinion.

The cast was set to film the fourth season in their homeland but there’s been a delay because producers have been having difficulty finding clubs that will allow the cast to be filmed partying in. They say it’s not that they don’t want them there it’s just that the prime minister doesn’t want to be on tape while hiring his underage hookers. He’d have to do a lot more than redefine the word “is” to get out of that one.

Also Snooki, The Situation, Paul D and J-Woww (no immediate relation to Bow Wow) are holding out on their big money contracts until deals are finalized for them to film in Italy. Really? Snooki, you have better offers that you don’t want to take off the table only to find you’re not going to be able to traipse the Italian country side looking for “juiced guidos”? If that movie about the holocaust victim who was born deaf yet can sing beautiful German opera is calling, I’d go ahead and take them up on that offer. Honestly, these kids are getting paid to basically party, sleep with each other, and maybe fall off a balcony or something every once and a while. They should slow down, reflect and just be happy they get to do what they love.

Mr. Trump Goes to Washington

Many, many weeks ago I wrote about the possibility that well known real estate mogul/television personality and wife collector Donald Trump was possibly throwing his hat in the Republican primary ring for the presidency. That boat seems like it’s heading into the harbor as Trump is blitzing the news at every turn with head-on comments that lie somewhere between lunacy and refreshing frankness. I’ll give him credit where credit’s due, he says things that no sane politician would ever say. Things like we need to “take the oil from Iraq“. No dancing around it or sweet words to make it sound like we‘re trading them for sneakers or something. Just boom. His foreign policy is bludgeon the toads over the head and take off with all the petroleum. Brilliant.

He’s very entertaining but it’s those blowhard, Randy Macho-Man Savagesque comments that come out of his mouth make him sound far dumber than his past has led us to believe. After all this guy is a billionaire real estate investor that made his name a brand that basically is centered around the mantra, “buy my merchandise, so you may lightly graze the awesomeness that I shed upon the earth.” It’d be a crime to just say he’s crazy, because we have seen crazy and he doesn’t stand a chance if we want to compare him to the returning champs. That’s why I think he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s had 10,000 ninja pollsters working around the clock, talking to right-wing soccer moms and gun club members to precisely slice out a campaign that will get him elected.

He’s been stirring up a lot of commotion that was nearly ready to pass into the west about President Obama never producing a birth-certificate to show the American public, thereby proving he was probably born in another country or possibly…galaxy. He never said that last part but he was so profoundly suspicious he sent his own people to Hawaii to investigate the location Barack Obama first saw the light of day. Now, I honestly don’t even think he believes this garbage but he must be able to read because a recent poll came out that over half of Americans think the President was not born in this country. I believe this whole buzz that the president is by birth a foreigner to be crazy but if there’s more crazy people than sane people, I guess that then makes me crazy? So based on the info I just gave you, you would think he’d be doing pretty well in the early polls for the GOP nom. You’d be exactly right. Polls in New Hampshire, the small but mighty state that holds a tidal wave of power because they go first, say Trump trails only Mitt Romney in New Hampshire. And then in the often undecisive sunshine state, Floridians have him just behind Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee. It’s hard what to make of his honest chances. He’s unconventional but maybe that appeals to some of the base. You could even call him a maverick. His rhetoric is brash and probably a steaming pile of bull excrement but this is politics after all…